The Risk & Reward of Living Your Life Transparent, Online & Live
Posted on Jul 11th, 2007
by 
Gwen
Gwen
This weekend there were times when more than 100 people at a time tuned in to watch the Live Feed. Thousands of unique IP addresses were logging into vosnap.com. It was the most public I've ever been in terms of the web. I've performed in front of hundreds and sometimes those concerts were recorded, but this was ON AIR.
This isn't the first time that I've wondered about my level of transparency with people reading my blogs and watching my life as it unfolds. My blog is one thing. The sheer number of people writing, reading, watching and commenting on my life this weekend was a little different.
First of all, all mistakes and missteps were recorded and people could give instant feedback on things. In a way it was like Truman Show. Most of the time I barely noticed the camera. When I taught yoga I hardly noticed it was there, but other people remarked on it and looked a bit self-conscious moving their hips with the world watching. I can understand. Yoga is typically a semi-private endeavor. Should it be kept that way?
Then, Buddhist Geeks put up a group podcast. Some negative comments have rolled in on that, including:
What's curious about that post is that it's gotten more traffic than any other post or podcast to date. People are curious about sexuality and afraid to open up about it. One thing that I saw in Japan and that still seems to me to be the reason it's safe enough for a 12 year old girl to be out on the streets anywhere in the country at 2 am (sorry this is a run on) is that people are open about sexuality. There is less charge around it. And fewer hang-ups. Could it be that our predominantly Protestant upbringings have actually created *more* fear around our sexuality?
Okay, that's not all that I wanted to talk about in this post. The real point of this post is to take a look at whether we should be as transparent online as we are in our "real lives." Last night at the new technologies meetup on CU's campus one group made the point that everything you put up online is searchable. So, if you don't want us to know about it, he said, don't make it public.
I equate transparency with truth-telling. That doesn't mean my entire life is going to be opened up to the public. If I had a camera following me around for more than a weekend it might start to get old. And the truth is, I'm up to a lot of things you probably don't want to know about.
As a Knowledge Worker*, I think it's one of responsibilities to inform others about what's happening with regards to new and emerging technologies. Even when you mark an entry "friends only" or think your email is for your eyes only, think again. Just this morning I opened up my gmail account and what appeared on the page was SOMEONE ELSE'S account. Everything. Now, it's possible that someone borrowed my computer and forgot to close it, but, the point stands. You're always vulnerable. Start setting boundaries now. Forget feature creep. Start thinking about privacy creep.
I didn't mean for this to devolve into a bunch of warnings. Michael Moore will probably take care of that soon enough. Really, I just want to get a dialog started about how much is too much? Is there such a thing as too transparent? Or is it all pretty much up for grabs when you make your life public through blogging, twittering & online social networks (writing about preferences that you can later be target-marketed for?).
Twitter me with thoughts. ;)
*The Knowledge Worker:
-Works with ideas and manages teams
-Wants to be able to develop and improve processes and forms; encourage collaboration; create workspace environments
-Needs to create, consume, transform and analyze data
-Works in an unstructured, free-form way, maybe starting with a set of ideas which are collaborated on and built into a new document/report/form/business process.
-Examples of this type of worker include middle/senior managers, consultants, marketing execs.
This isn't the first time that I've wondered about my level of transparency with people reading my blogs and watching my life as it unfolds. My blog is one thing. The sheer number of people writing, reading, watching and commenting on my life this weekend was a little different.
First of all, all mistakes and missteps were recorded and people could give instant feedback on things. In a way it was like Truman Show. Most of the time I barely noticed the camera. When I taught yoga I hardly noticed it was there, but other people remarked on it and looked a bit self-conscious moving their hips with the world watching. I can understand. Yoga is typically a semi-private endeavor. Should it be kept that way?
Then, Buddhist Geeks put up a group podcast. Some negative comments have rolled in on that, including:
After I heard on your recent podcast that a host had connections with S Girls and even considered submitting her self pics, I was dismayed. You all are way too young, folks.Interesting comment. Interesting because this is an issue I've wrestled with publicly from day one at BGeeks. How to balance spirituality and sexuality. And I will continue to do so, even if we lose one listener or a thousand because of it. That's the truth. Ain't no shame in my game. I'm young, I meditate and from time to time, I'm horny. Big f'in deal.
What's curious about that post is that it's gotten more traffic than any other post or podcast to date. People are curious about sexuality and afraid to open up about it. One thing that I saw in Japan and that still seems to me to be the reason it's safe enough for a 12 year old girl to be out on the streets anywhere in the country at 2 am (sorry this is a run on) is that people are open about sexuality. There is less charge around it. And fewer hang-ups. Could it be that our predominantly Protestant upbringings have actually created *more* fear around our sexuality?
Okay, that's not all that I wanted to talk about in this post. The real point of this post is to take a look at whether we should be as transparent online as we are in our "real lives." Last night at the new technologies meetup on CU's campus one group made the point that everything you put up online is searchable. So, if you don't want us to know about it, he said, don't make it public.
I equate transparency with truth-telling. That doesn't mean my entire life is going to be opened up to the public. If I had a camera following me around for more than a weekend it might start to get old. And the truth is, I'm up to a lot of things you probably don't want to know about.
As a Knowledge Worker*, I think it's one of responsibilities to inform others about what's happening with regards to new and emerging technologies. Even when you mark an entry "friends only" or think your email is for your eyes only, think again. Just this morning I opened up my gmail account and what appeared on the page was SOMEONE ELSE'S account. Everything. Now, it's possible that someone borrowed my computer and forgot to close it, but, the point stands. You're always vulnerable. Start setting boundaries now. Forget feature creep. Start thinking about privacy creep.
I didn't mean for this to devolve into a bunch of warnings. Michael Moore will probably take care of that soon enough. Really, I just want to get a dialog started about how much is too much? Is there such a thing as too transparent? Or is it all pretty much up for grabs when you make your life public through blogging, twittering & online social networks (writing about preferences that you can later be target-marketed for?).
Twitter me with thoughts. ;)
*The Knowledge Worker:
-Works with ideas and manages teams
-Wants to be able to develop and improve processes and forms; encourage collaboration; create workspace environments
-Needs to create, consume, transform and analyze data
-Works in an unstructured, free-form way, maybe starting with a set of ideas which are collaborated on and built into a new document/report/form/business process.
-Examples of this type of worker include middle/senior managers, consultants, marketing execs.
Access: PublicTagged with: technology, startupweekend, vosnap, information, internet, transparency, truth, knowledge worker
information
January 2008 
Some great points, and this is why I was a) slow to start blogging, and b) slow to start Twittering. With Google's mega-cacheing ability, EVERYTHING you put online, even the accidents and things you've deleted, are searchable.
What's next, PooCam?
I spent a long time organizing my different 'personae' into different boxes - there was the me who competed in Body for Life and got into the weightlifting scene; there was the me who played online multiplayer games; there was the me who wrote poetry and blog entries; there was another me who was Buddhist, and finally, there was me in the 'real world' - the one you can actually shake hands with.
And then at some point I realized that yes, I am many different people - as many different people as people I know, but that I didn't need to separate them. On the other hand - there are certain parts of my life that are for only my friends and I.
Isn't that really the boiling down of it all, though? It's not about being truthful or not, or being transparent or opaque, but rather choosing with whom to share certain elements of your life. Gwen, you know some details of my life that I'm not planning to make public, regardless of the steaminess or dullness or what-have-you of those details. And you know I know some of those.
On the other hand - totally agree regarding privacy and protecting those things you'd like to stay within small circles. I recall unfortunately giving you a scare not too long ago.
And since I can't help but swing back once more to my point - if, despite all our best efforts and privacy protections, our secrets were revealed (not ours, per se, but mine and yours), it's all about that illusion of control. Things might change as a result, but for most of us those private lives aren't so juicy. Some people will glare, some people will stare, and most will yawn or smirk and move on.
It's like exhaling after holding your breath. So… I guess - protect our privacy and ourprivate things, but without fear or hesitation of being ourselves. Twitter or no.
Having said that, I'll IM things that I won't twitter. That's for damn sure.
Transparency is a trick, for sure. I've made my fair share of rediculous mistakes online.
I've been (mildly) bitten by this before in that I had a fairly open Livejournal for years and years. I later ported everything to my public blog, which I mirror here, but I had to go through and get rid of a certain segment of posts that were a bit too open because on LJ I was talking to a relatively closed circle of friends. I was fairly anonymous for a long while as well.
As it is, you can go to google groups and search under my name and find posts of mine from when I was an undergraduate in the early 90s. The only reason a lot more stuff, often embarassing now, doesn't come up is that we all used nicknames and pseudonyms online in those days so the posts don't have my legal name on them…
Like this…
I'm going to go feel old now. :-)
@ Paul: Cacheing. Yech. I think…
@ Jake: Are you blackmailing me!!? Again?!! ;)
@ Duff: W0rd.
@ Al: I also kept a LJ for a long time. Because I didn't understand the importance of obscuring certain details, I sometimes found people telling me things about myself I didn't think they should know. I guess the purpose of this post, in some ways, is to educate people reading my blog that maybe don't realize how important it is to keep their most private info close (or better yet, simply set the container for themselves & decide what “transparent” means to them). To those of us that have maintained blogs since the early 00's (me) and earlier (you), the lessons have already been learned.
I'm surprised, though, to find that many women in my age group and older don't know the potential ramifications/repurcussions of their online behavior.
To them, this is a flag. And a reminder to those who do know…
Thanks for getting the discussion going.
No. er… what would HHDL do?
He wouldn't be blogging.
Of course, my LJ situation hasn't been helped that the girl I dated when I posted the above usenet posting in 1990 is on my friends list on LJ. It's hard to keep things secret in online communities when partipants are old lovers from 17 years ago.
@gwen: i appreciate your courage and openness. it's part of your personality and it's part of what makes you who you are.
as for me, i'm predominantly introverted. so i prefer to be translucent rather than transparent online. i just allow enough light for truthiness to pass through. transparent is the extreme. translucent is the middle way. if i had it my way, i'd rather be a mirror rather than a see through object so that people can see themselves when they look at me rather than see past by me. but that's just me.
~C
Hey G-
I love your Truth and Truthiness. Live it. It's a moment to moment gig, eh?
I want to be open and honest with people in person and online and the degrees of those desires change from day to day. I'm a big mouth for sure. I've made plenty of online goofs. It doesn't bother me really. I can take care of myself.
My concern is the risk I place my wife and kids at with my so-called transparency and this emerging online virtual reality.
~C4C said something I read a long time ago that made me think. He said comments on blogs ain't all that. (paraphrasing) I realized that comments on blogs are often ego, opinion, and the like. When someone speaks the truth my ego either shuts up or screams. Most often, when someone says something that rings the truth bell in me (no pun intended Ms Bell), I don't leave a comment, maybe a “Yep”, “Uh-huh', or “Right On.”
My point is so what on other's comments. They can be good mirrors or lousy ones, useful or not. What matters is what shows up on my doorstep. Is what I'm putting out there in my blogs and comments going to return to me face to face positively or negatively or become a factor in the lives of the ones I love? A vigilance in my awareness is necessary - now and always. So I hear ya, G.
That's how I see it but that just my “opinion,” my ego, meaningless or meaningful as it is…
Love One Another
p. s. In my opinion, G-Bell, you're still a Lovely Teacher of the Heart…Namaste
I'm always grateful, and humbled, when I encounter the transparency of another. It's a vulnerability that usually encourages me to be more publicly fearless ('cause muffled shouts from the sidelines don't require a whole lotta courage, ya know?) And public fearlessness, IMHO, makes me and my many facets feel integrated. And free. What a drag it is to alter yourself according to every different context and situation. At work, with family, in business, with friends, in my spiritual communities, while shopping, whatever/whenever I want to be me… fully me. Ideal? Yes. Authentic? Absolutely.
I see your transparency as a gift, Gwen. I hope you'll keep on giving :-)
Spirituality and sexuality. Before I found a Middle Path that works for me, I suffered from extremism. After seven years of celibacy, I realized that my holiness and my lusciousness were not at odds. I introduced them to each other, and now they're very happy friends.